While in Houston, I discovered...

I look nice with twists. I think. Do I? Dreads, next step.

I have hips and thighs...like a female.

And...

I can wear skinny's!!!

ATL Diaries: Happy Holidays...from Houston

Happy Holidays to all.

I was able to get a couple of days off work (the first days I've taken off since I started 5 months ago) and head home...the REAL home...to Houston for the Christmas holiday. Luckily, I got away before the snow came into ATL. Yes, I hate snow. Plus it was so warm in H-Town that I got to wear my Sperry's for the first time in weeks! Anyway, I took my first flight on a plane ever and let me just say it wasn't easy. And the fact that it was those small express jets didn't make it any easier.

It was great being around my family. I hadn't seen them since I left six months ago. I barely got halfway up the driveway and my niece comes running into my arms. I missed that little girl soooooooo much. She's going to throw a fit when I have to leave tonight. I don't blame her; I don't want to leave her. She's my baby, pretty much the closest I'll ever get to having my own kids.

Now it's back to ATL and back to life. I hope the snow is going to be gone. I'd hope the cold will be gone but that's pushing it. This was a great vacation but it's time to make some moves in 2011. Oh and start planning my next trip. But...

...about this flight tonight...

Being a victim makes me a negative person, apparently...

Funny thing, I was called a "negative" person for not understanding the justification of changing FB profile pics helping to stop child abuse, even after saying that people should SPEAK UP or go out and do something. Donate their time to the cause, and whatnot. 


FB isn't donating anything to any organization. I can understand it then if they were but they aren't. A better idea would have been sharing a story in their status that could help encourage victims to speak up. Cartoon characters aren't always a positive memory for some, especially victims of child abuse. It comes in many forms: physical, verbal and emotional. It can be neglect or sexual molestation/abuse. I know what it's like to be a victim because it happened to me. If you know it's happening to someone, SPEAK UP!! Go out and do something about it. Donate your time, if you can. Donate to organizations working for the cause. It doesn't have to just be money. 


People change their default pictures every single day. If you think that will help support a cause then do it every day. Don't do it just for Breast Cancer month. Don't do it just for World AIDS Day. Don't do it just for "stop the bully" day. Thinking that simply changing your picture for a specific amount of time is helping actually angers me. 


So don't call me negative for not agreeing with cartoon defaults because I'm a victim and it doesn't help anything.

53rd Annual Grammy Predictions

The nominees are here. These are just my predictions. If I don’t choose your faves, get a life. 

Record of the Year: B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars, “Nothing On You”, Eminem featuring Rihanna, “Love The Way You Lie”, Cee-lo Green, “Fuck You”, Jay-Z & Alicia Keys, “Empire State of Mind”; Lady Antebellum, “Need You Now” - There’s no denying that all of these songs were big hits but “Need You Now” was definitely THE biggest. Plus the Grammy’s love Lady A.

Album of the Year: Eminem - Recovery, Arcade Fire - The Suburbs, Lady Antebellum - Need You Now, Katy Perry - Teenage Dream, Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster - I’m a bigger fan of Gaga but she’s not going to get this one. Katy has NO chance in Hell. Eminem and Lady A’s records were huge so this is basically a coin toss; one of them has it in the bag. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s given to the unknown Arcade Fire just as Herbie Hancock was given the award.

Song of the Year: Ray LaMontagne, songwriter (Ray LaMontagne And The Pariah Dogs) - “Beg, Steal or Borrow”; Cee Lo Green, Philip Lawrence & Bruno Mars, songwriters (Cee Lo Green) - “Fuck You”; Tom Douglas & Allen Shamblin, songwriters (Miranda Lambert) - “The House That Built Me”; Alexander Grant, Holly Hafferman & Marshall Mathers, songwriters (Eminem Featuring Rihanna) - “Love The Way You Lie”; Dave Haywood, Josh Kear, Charles Kelley & Hillary Scott, songwriters (Lady Antebellum) - “Need You Now” -There’s no denying this one.

Best New Artist: Justin Bieber, Drake, Florence & The Machines, Mumford and Sons, Esperanza Spalding - Honestly, anybody but Justin(a) or Drake.

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance: Sara Bareilles, “King of Anything”; Beyonce, “Halo (Live from I Am…Yours An Intimate Performance at Wynn Las Vegas)”; Norah Jones, “Chasing Pirates”; Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”; Katy Perry, “Teenage Dream” - I won’t even start with the Beyonce nomination. Straight to the point: it’s Lady Gaga or Norah Jones (another Grammy darling).

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance: Michael Jackson, “This Is It”; Bruno Mars, “Just The Way You Are”; Michael Buble, “Haven’t Met You Yet”; Adam Lambert, “Whataya Want From Me”; John Mayer, “Half of My Heart” - Definitely one of the toughest categories, I’m just going out on a limb and say Bruno Mars will take this one. Don’t quote me on this one, though. Either guy could win.

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals: Glee Cast, “Don’t Stop Believin’ (Regionals Version)”; Maroon 5, “Misery”; Paramore, “The Only Exception”; Sade, “BabyFather”; Train, “Hey, Soul Sister (Live)” - If this was 10 years ago when the Grammy’s still had substance and serious credibility, Sade would take this home. But it’s 10 years later, and I’m going with Paramore. Still, a tough one.

Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals: B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams and Eminem, “Airplanes Pt. II”; Herbie Hancock featuring P!NK, India.Arie, Seal, Konono No 1, Jeff Beck & Oumou Sangare, “Imagine”; Elton John & Leon Russell, “If It Wasn’t For Bad”; Lady Gaga & Beyonce, “Telephone”; Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg, “California Gurls” - This is a toss-up between Katy, Gaga and B.o.B. The other two doesn’t exactly scream “pop”. If fans were voting, Katy would win. But they’re not so BeyGaga has this one.

Best Pop Vocal Album: Justin Bieber, My World 2.0; Susan Boyle, I Dreamed A Dream; Lady Gaga, The Fame Monster; John Mayer, Battle Studies; Katy Perry, Teenage Dream -SuBo. Nuff said. And I don’t even like her.

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance: Faith Evans, “Gone Already”; Fantasia, “Bittersweet”;Monica, “Everything To Me”; Kelly Price, “Tired”; Jazmine Sullivan, “Holding You Down (Going In Circles)” - If the Grammy’s were true to the vocal performances then, hands down, Kelly would just pick up her award without needing the winner announced. But the Grammy’s are more-so about popularity these days. It’s a battle between Mo and Fanny but Miss Thang will most likely take this one. One of the biggest songs, most added and 7 weeks at number one…what more do you need? Some SERIOUS sangin’-your-ass-off, of course.

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance: El DeBarge, “Second Chance”; Jaheim, “Finding My Way Back”; Kem, “Why Would You Stay?”; Kirk Whalum & Musiq Soulchild, “We’re Still Friends”; Usher, “There Goes My Baby” - The Grammy’s love a comeback but not so much, according to the Whitney Houston snub fiasco. So El, no. This goes to Usher. C’mon son, it was another huge song.

Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group: Chuck Brown, Jill Scott & Marcus Miller, “Love”; Chris Brown & Tank, “Take My Time”; Ron Isley & Aretha Franklin, “You’ve Got A Friend”; John Legend & The Roots, “Shine”; Sade, “Soldier of Love” - Tough one. Hmm, Ron and ReeRee, John and the Roots or Sade gets this one. My money…Sade.

Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance: R. Kelly, “When A Woman Loves”, John Legend & The Roots, “Hang On In There”, Calvin Richardson, “You’re So Amazing”; Ryan Shaw, “In Between”; Betty Wright, “Go (Live)” - Kellz. I mean, have you HEARD the song? Trey Songz who?

Best Urban/Alternative Performance: Bilal, “Little One”; Cee-lo Green, “Fuck You”; Carolyn Malachi, “Orion”; Janelle Monae featuring Big Boi, “Tightrope”; Eric Roberson, “Still” - Cee-lo or Janelle. “Fuck You” was just genius.

Best R&B Song: Charles Harmon & Claude Kelly, songwriters (Fantasia), “Bittersweet”; Ivan “Orthodox” Barias, Curt Chambers, Carvin “Ransum” Haggins, Jaheim Hoagland & Miquel Jontel, songwriters (Jaheim), “Finding My Way Back”; E. Debarge & Mischke, songwriters (El DeBarge), “Second Chance”; John Stephens, songwriter (John Legend & The Roots), “Shine”; K. Owens, songwriter (Kem), “Why Would You Stay” - Monica, Kelly Price, Alicia Keys, Sade, R. Kelly and Usher were snubbed in this category. The only one deserving of this nomination is Fantasia, so she gets it.

Best R&B Album:  Raheem DeVaughn, The Love & War Masterpeace; Fantasia, Back To Me; Jaheim, Another Round; John Legend & The Roots, Wake Up!; Monica, Still Standing - Mo or Fanny gets this. Two of the best R&B albums released this year. By the way, where’s Alicia.

Best Contemporary R&B Album: Chris Brown, Graffiti; R. Kelly, Untitled; Ryan Leslie, Transition; Janelle Monae, The ArchAndroid; Usher, Raymond v. Raymond - My vote would go for Janelle. But this is the Grammy’s. Chris or Usher? Chris would be a pity win, though I liked his album. So…it’s Usher. Alicia’s missing again.

Best Rap Solo Performance: Drake, “Over”; Eminem, “Not Afraid”; Ludacris, “How Low”; T.I., “I’m Back”; Kanye West, “Power” - Too easy. Eminem. He’s a Grammy favorite. Yeezy is a close 2nd.

Best Rap Performance by a Duo/Group: Big Boi & Cutty, “Shutterbugg”; Drake, T.I. & Swizz Beatz, “Fancy”; Jay-Z & Swizz Beatz, “On to the Next One”; Ludacris & Nicki Minaj, “My Chick Bad”; Young Jeezy & Plies, “Lose My Mind” - It’s either Jay and Swizz or Luda and Nicki. Whether Nicki wins or loses, stan wars volume 75498…

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: B.o.B. & Bruno Mars, “Nothing On You”; Chris Brown, Tyga & Kevin McCall, “Deuces”; Eminem & Rihanna, “Love The Way You Lie”; Jay-Z & Alicia Keys, “Empire State Of Mind”; John Legend, The Roots, Melanie Fiona & Common, “Wake Up! Everybody” - Eminem’s a Grammy favorite, so in this order: Love the Way You Lie, Deuces, Nothing on You.

Best Rap Song: Shawn Carter, Angela Hunte, Burt Keyes, Alicia Keys, Jane’t “Jnay” Sewell-Ulepic & Alexander Shuckburgh, songwriters (Sylvia Robinson, songwriter) (Jay-Z & Alicia Keys) - “Empire State of Mind”; Alexander Grant, Holly Hafferman & Marshall Mathers, songwriters (Eminem & Rihanna) - “Love The Way You Lie”; M. Burnett, J. Evans, Marshall Mathers, L. Resto & M. Samuels, songwriters (Eminem) - “Not Afraid”; Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine, Bruno Mars & Bobby Simmons Jr., songwriters (B.o.B & Bruno Mars) - “Nothing On You”; Shawn Carter, J. Chaton & K. Dean, songwriters (G. Auge & X. De Rosnay, songwriters) (Jay-Z & Swizz Beatz) - “On To The Next One” - Wow. Jay-Z and Eminem are nominated twice here. B.o.B. has no chance. If Jay wins, it should be “Empire State of Mind”. If Em wins, it’s “Not Afraid”.

Best Rap Album:  B.o.B., The Adventures of Bobby Ray; Drake, Thank Me Later; Eminem, Recovery; Jay-Z, The Blueprint 3; The Roots, How I Got Over - Eminem. That’s a given.

World AIDS Day 2010

Know your status. Get tested. Wrap it up.

Even if you're a virgin. Even if you're celibate. Even if you've been with only one person all your life.

HIV/AIDS isn't only transmitted through sex.

Protect yourself.

Get the facts.

ATL Diaries: Playing catch-up

Yeah, I know. I've been neglecting my blog but it's been quite a busy life for me since the last update.

Working hard for the money: I've been working so much overtime over the past 3 or 4 weeks. I've been tired and exhausted. At the same time, I'm writing so many articles for the next issue of this local magazine. But in the end, the checks...well, direct deposit...shows it's all worth it. I gots goals to accomplish and dreams to make reality.

Up in da club: I finally decided to go to a club since my horribly unimpressive first gay club experience at Bulldogs four months ago. A friend and I went to Rain in the West End area of Atlanta. To be honest, I really enjoyed myself. The crowd was much younger, mostly around my age though some younger and a few older. It was my kind of crowd outside of the grown and sexy type crowd I'm used to with the straight clubs (that have a dress code).

Now that she's gone: I miss my best friend. Not talking about the one from Houston, although I miss her too. I'm talking about the new one I made here. You see, our hotel was being renovated and upon completion some jobs were being eliminated. Hers being one of them. But the bossman offered her another position, doing much more work for just a few cents more, which he was going to give her the position anyway. But she ended up getting a better job offer in Philadelphia. So, last week she moved. It's not the same without her anymore. At least we still talk, text and Skype. Hopefully, I'll be able to visit Philly at the beginning of the year. Now I don't have anyone I can cut up and act a fool with here. :(

Thanksgiving alone: Yep. It was my first Thanksgiving without my family. My cousin and his friends were going on a road trip to New Orleans but I decided not to go. I was saving my money for my trip to Houston for Christmas instead. I didn't really plan to do anything. My best friend was already gone by this time. Well, I had to cook this turkey my cousin decided to buy, knowing he was going to be gone. It was the first time I ever cooked a turkey and I'm proud of myself for how good it turned out. Of course, naturally, I cooked cornbread dressing, collard greens, broccoli and rice casserole, oven-baked mac-n-cheese and candied yams. Also made pumpkin pie, to top it off. My fridge is STILL full. I don't know how to cook for one.

So that's been me since the last post. Yup.

Gays v. Blacks and the Civil Rights Movement

I don't think people really understand the meaning of "Civil Rights".

Let me break it down for you.

IT DOES NOT MEAN BASIC RIGHTS FOR BLACK FOLKS.

Did you get that? No? Read it again. And again. And a-fucking-gain.

Sorry I had to use a little bit of profanity but I’m going to need for my people to get that “civil rights is a black people only thing” out of their heads. Yes, African Americans started the Civil Rights movement but the fight never ended. Not just for blacks but also for other minority groups such as Asians, Hispanics and the GLBT community. Yes, the gays are fighting for their rights too.

Let me break out the Wikipedia because my brain is mush from being up since 3AM and it’s after 11pm, and I gotta be back up at 3AM again.

Civil rights are a class of rights that protect individuals’ freedom from unwarranted infringement by governments and private organizations, and ensure one’s ability to participate in the civil and political life of the state without discrimination or repression. They include the ensuring of peoples’ physical integrity and safety; protection from discrimination on grounds such as physical or mental disability, gender, religion, race, national origin, age, or sexual orientation; and individual rights such as the freedoms of thought and conscience, speech and expression, religion, the press, and movement.

There you have it. So when you hear someone likening the gay rights fight to the black civil rights movement, they’re only expressing that from a minority viewpoint. Of course their fight isn’t the same as the black civil rights movement, where our mothers and fathers and grandparents were hosed, beaten or lynched for us to sit anywhere on the bus, to vote, to speak freely, to walk in the front of restaurants and sit at the counters, to share water fountains (ew, germ alert) to run for office and become the President of our country. We’ve achieved all of that and more but we still have a long way to go. The gay community, while not to the same extent of being hosed and lynched, are fighting for some things that we have. Benefits, marriage, adoption, tougher laws against hate crimes, the end of DADT. They want their voices heard just as we wanted ours heard. We are ALL American citizens and deserve to have our God-given rights as such without being discriminated and singled out for being different.

So again, my fellow African-Americans or Black people, however you want to refer to yourself: stop claiming “civil rights” as just a black thing. It’s not.

The gear has shifted from Drive to Reverse...

And that's where this country seems to be heading as a result of the midterm election...backwards.

Republicans has regained the control of the House. Democrats keeps control of the Senate.

The economy has stabilized but it's not recovering as fast as we want. However, an eight-year mess cannot be cleaned in less than 2. Unfortunately, people REFUSE to see that and expected an overnight miracle. It takes time and work. And the GOP and the Tea-baggers (lmao) were already fighting in opposition to everything President Obama and the Dems where trying to do. Two years ago, they had their eyes set on this election. So they did what they had to do. Took the small negatives and blew it up. Scare tactics. Sadly but not surprising in true political fashion, lies. (The Dems aren't that innocent either.) People are so gullible to believe everything they're told instead of researching on their own. This wasn't a presidential election but it was still a crucial and important one, and it shapes up the next presidential election, in which the GOP now have their eyes set on.

President Obama is willing to work with the Republicans but I highly doubt he'll get the cooperation he needs from them. The GOP wants to do away with entitlement benefits - kiss your Medicare and Social Security check goodbye, senior citizens because majority of your age group voted for them. The GOP wants to do away with education spending and the department. They're not going to help college students.  They want to repeal health care reform but it will not happen as long as the Prez has the power to veto. (I don't see why they can't make amendments instead). One of the newly acquired Republican seats, the winner (name forgotten) stated that there was no rich, poor or middle class. Paul Rand stated "we came to take our government back".

The same government that got us into this mess. The same government that Americans voted for. The same government that Americans were mad and fed up with for getting us into this mess. The Dems had 2 years. Let's see what the elephants can do in less than 2.

So, no, I don't want to hear ANY complaints because YOU made the decision of who should run the country. Even if you DIDN'T vote. Hell, if you didn't, do NOT speak to me.

26 years...

This past Saturday (Oct. 30th) was my 26th birthday. (This post is late as hell) It was the first birthday I ever spent away from my family, away from home and from my triplets (an aunt and a friend who share the same birthday). But it wasn't all bad. I still got all my calls, texts, tweets and Facebook messages from my friends and family. My best friend even shipped me a gift. That made it all better.

I treated myself to the Georgia Aquarium and the World of Coke museum. Then made myself a nice birthday dinner. Corn, candied yams, "colleged" greens, scalloped potatoes, mac-n-cheese and baked porkchops. Needless to say, I only know how to cook for like a family of 5. So yeah...a LOT of food. My new bff said I have a Masters in soul food because it was "putting some hair on her back and under her arms". Yeah. Oh, and yes, there were drinks. ALCOHOLIC drinks. Not FourLoko though. I wasn't trying to black out.

Georgie Bush says Kanye's comment was the WORST moment of his 8 year presidency.

Not 9/11.

Not Hurricane Katrina.

Not the beginning of the recession.

Not Iraq.

But Kanye West’s “George Bush doesn’t like black people” comment.

Something is definitely wrong with that picture.

Single for the rest of my life?

After some thought, I decided I'd rather be single. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I'll be lonely, sad and horny all the time...blah blah blah. Well, Palmer and Handrew have been just fine for me for this long.

Okay, I'm kidding.

I'm just at the point where I believe being boo'd up is overrated. Love is a bitch, too. I hate to be cliche but it's true. I've always feared rejection, and it happened more than I liked this year alone. Hell, one I even fell for and it took a while to get over. Either I've been misreading signals or...whatever. From now on, I think I'll just beware of anyone supposedly showing interest and keep my feelings to myself.

Who knows what the future holds...

ATL Diaries: Star Struck...

I'm not the type to be star struck when it comes to meeting celebrities. I've met Destiny's Child v.2, Rodney Hampton (formerly of NY Giants), Bill Clinton, etc. I never do all the screaming and squealing and jumping around.

Then I met her.

Chilli of TLC. And still wasn't star struck.

In fact, I was getting the shuttle van washed at the car wash in Midtown this morning. A woman 2 seats down called out “Ro!” and I glanced up but didn’t pay much attention. When “Ro” walked past me, I looked up and noticed her bag, which had a picture of Chilli’s son Tron on it. “Ro” sat next to me and as kept looking at her because she seemed familiar, she looked directly at me. I then recognized her. “Chilli?”, I said. She smiled and waved, “Hi. How are you?” I replied, “Great, and you?” “I’m good, thanks,” she said then continued her conversation with the friend. Asking for autographs and pictures was out of the question. Besides, she wasn’t there for long as they left like 2 minutes later. 

Chilli’s so beautiful in person, and so small. And yes, the baby hairs were real.

It was cool meeting her and she seemed human. I know I should get used to this because I'm sure I'll see more since I live in ATL. 

I mean, I've seen Gucci's tour bus like 5 times already. He's one I don't want to meet though.

ATL Diaries: Coming Out...

I posted a while back that I was going to come out to my best friend. And as you all know, or maybe you've been hiding under a rock, this past Monday was National Coming Out day. I was intending to write a letter because I didn't think I'd be able to get everything out over the phone. However, when I realized on Monday that it was Coming Out day, I decided to send an email because I felt more confident that day. The entire time I was typing, I was a nervous wreck. I was scared. I almost didn't press "send".

But I'm glad I did. My phone vibrated signaling a text message. It was from my best friend.

"Awwww...I'm here for you no matter what and I'm glad u are happy"

I don't do crying, except when watching The Lion King. But dammit if I didn't cry like a lil bitch after reading that. She's the greatest. Someone once told me, "Once you got a good friend, they will ALWAYS be your friend." I have a good, true friend. The next day we spent 3 hours on the phone as normal. Well, till my phone died. But it was like nothing's changed.

Today, all of my friends and family knows, and I have their love and support. I should have just come out years ago. SMH. As my good bestie Peppah would say, "You're a gay now!"

Side note: my new friend here figured out I have a crush on our coworker aka the "Bible Toter". I don't know how she figured it out but she did, lol.

Decisions...

I know I have a long time before Fall 2011 but I think I’m reaching closer to a decision on which university I want to continue and finish, either Georgia Tech or Morehouse. I’m leaning more towards Morehouse.

I met a guest that stayed at the hotel this week who has a buddy that went to Morehouse and is now a doctor. He believes that having a Morehouse degree will provide better opportunities for me than GT. Plus Morehouse is more acknowledged than GT. I should be expecting a phone call in the next week or two.

Making connections in ATL.

Maybe I'll go to Spelman. o_o

ATL Diaries: Niagara Falls

I have a terrible cold. I had the place to myself since Wednesday and I get sick, vomiting and shit. Even with a nose running like Niagara Falls, my friend took me out of the house Saturday. We went to the Atlanta BBQ Festival in Atlantic station. One guy, who I think was just a kid (read as in teen), went out of his way to check me out as I walked by. I’m talking from the moment I was walking in his direction until I was well past him. Yeah, you gotta be a little older buddy. 

Then she took me to 5 Points/Underground. I don’t like that place. I never really go there because it’s too ghetto. I was so uncomfortable too. And can y’all believe she took me into Rainbow??? I have a bad judgment in friends because my bestie back in Houston did the same damn thing. Rainbow, though? Ugh. And yes, eyes were on me too. Some of them were looking grossly though.

We passed by what looked to be a block party or something. She wanted to stop there until we asked what was going on. Soon as dude said Clark-Atlanta homecoming, we burnt off. No thank you.

After that, we went to Camp Creek. That was much more my environment…suburbia. Out of the ghetto-ness. Had a nice time, bought a few things.

Ended the night by going to…the West End. I know about the West End because Madea talked about the West End, and I swore I’d never go to the West End. But there we were…in the West End. Now that was the “hoodt”. Not “hood” but “HOODT”. She was going to go into the store for a minute and leave me in the truck but I was like, “Hell to da naw!” I didn’t mind walking into Simply Fashion as long as she didn’t leave me by myself. Not in the hoodt, buddy. 

Her: Would you live out here?

Me: Hell to the no!

Her: Why not?

Me: Do you see this shit? My chances of getting shot increases by 214 percent. Matter fact, lock the doors and let up the windows.

Inserection...

If you live in ATL, you know what that is.

This past weekend was the first time I ever went into an adult store. There were a lot of...hmm, "interesting" things there. It felt kind of awkward, weird yet fun all in the same. Of course, I wouldn't touch a thing. Not even the door.

By the way, I thought the cashier was a chick...

ATL Diaries: Doors opening?

So my life is getting a little more exciting since the last ATL Diaries post. Just a little.

I've made a new best friend in one of my coworkers. She's insane...but in a good, hilarious way. Her best friend also must moved to town a couple of weeks ago, who's also become my new best friend. They're the greatest. I've been getting out a bit more, going to parties and eating out at places like Copeland's and Hard Rock. We almost went skating at Cascade until we saw the long line of ghetto ass teenagers. So we decided to go to Sparkles. Yes, there's a skating rink called Sparkles. No, it's not an adults-only skating rink. Get your minds out the gutter.

I've also been hanging out with my cousin's friends. Or should I say now, my gay family. They are a time. Oh and yes, my cuzzo and I are back on good terms. He got over his lil attitude, lol.

An update on my coworker crush, or the "Bible toter" as one of my followers say, I'm still in awe at how he's been opening up more with me. All week we've been laughing and joking and talking about random things. Totally changes my perception of him. He's cool.

Also, one of my coworkers has a local magazine called Urban Grind and offered me the opportunity to write reviews for new and independent music. Doors opening, perhaps?

Forget the bitter shit...

A couple of nights ago, my mom texted me, asking if I had called my dad to wish him happy birthday. I had actually forgotten it was his b-day but I did know that the day was supposed to be something important; I just couldn’t put my finger on why. So Moms told me that my sister said our dad never called her. With her, if it’s not about her, she doesn’t care; she only cares for herself and her daughter. Then Moms said my lil bro told her that “The man ain’t called me in 19 years.”

The difference between me and them is I don’t harbor feelings of bitterness. Yeah, so my dad hasn’t called or been there when I needed him for majority of my life. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s half the reason I’m here. He’s still my dad, and the only one I’ll ever have. What happened in the past is in the past. I’m over that. The fact is my dad is here now. I started building a relationship with him, and when we get together, we talk about any and everything. I have a stepmom and another younger brother and sister that are going to look up to me. The bitterness they’re harboring is not allowing them to get past the past. It’s time to let that shit go.

Skooter

*On the phone with my bestie from Houston*

Bestie: Your cousins trying to hook me up with Skooter from the church. 
Me: "Skooter"? 
Bestie: Yes, but one of them say "you don't want him", lol. 
Me: But "Skooter" though? 
Bestie: Yeeesss... 
Me: Girl, what you gon do with a "Skooter", ride him?

Everything's beautiful through rose colored glasses...

Kelly Rowland, “Rose Colored Glasses”. 


What is it with K.Ro and these cheap ass videos? Once again, love the song but hate the video. She sure is working those hand routines though. Manly hands she has. And those arms. Kelly’s been in the gym a lot lately. Speaking of manly, anyone else get the “drag” vibe from K.Ro in this video?


Side note: Kelly's album has been delayed until 2011...or never.

Trailer: For Colored Girls...

I cannot wait to see this one. Tyler just may have struck platinum with this.

If you ask me, I'm ready...

No, I'm not talking about doing the unthinkable...although, I'm ready for that too.

I'm talking about finally coming out to the rest of my family and friends. I've become quite comfortable with who I am, not only as a person, but as a gay black man. Saying the words to a stranger, "I'm gay". The only thing is being able to talk about what happened to me as a child is not easy, and so is talking about the struggle in dealing with that and accepting myself. But last night, while talking to my friend, I realized that it's time. I can't keep this from them forever. My mom and sister chose to let me decide when I'm ready and, well, I'm ready.

But...the challenge is my best friend from back home. You know, the one that has more than just feelings for me? The church going choir director who says that she doesn't believe homosexuality is natural. She's kinda homophobic but not really. It's going to be really hard to tell her. I'm considering a written letter would be better to just lay everything out. I'm just not sure how to tell her yet but I know I want her to be the first person to know and that she should hear it from me, not anyone else. I owe her that much.

ATL Diaries: My First Pride...Part II

This past Sunday, as a part of Atlanta's Black Gay Pride weekend, all the ghey's gather together to socialize and meet up with friends and Twitter followers from all over the country at Piedmont Park. Since I wasn't doing anything else, I met with on of my Twitter buds and went to the park and checked out the scene (my first time at the park also). It was...a sight to take in. Shit just got real. I was in this great big crowd of my peers, people who are just like me. Well...some of them. Some of them were just ratched, cooned out, and over the top. They were just doing the most. But it was all good...kinda. I did meet up with a couple of my favorite tweeters from my hometown of H-town...all of us rocking our Sperry's. Wouldn't have it any other way. Met some others too. It felt strange but good to be in that environment. And yes, I did give some hugs, although that was kind of hard for me to do. My "Animal" shirt was very popular too, lol.

Then Labor Day (Monday). I was planning to go out to some place called Prime but my job kicked my ASS! I really saw no purpose me going in to work but my main supervisor said to do so. I only had to do ONE shuttle run which was the very first run at 7:10 in the morning. Normally, in my spare time, I would help in the restaurant and the front desk is like my back up position. Why did my other supervisor have me, dust mopping the lobby then wet mopping, vacuuming AND picking up trash that includes cigarette butts and beer bottles in the parking lot? If the main supervisor was there, I'd be straight chilling at the desk. By the time I left, my feet were aching so bad like Cicely Tyson had spent 8 hours in the cotton fields. Got home and fell out, knocked out on the couch. Ain't heard a phone ring or a text alert...till my coworker kept calling me repeatedly. We went out to Atlantic Station, walked around and had dinner and drinks at Copeland's Cheesecake Bistro. Yeah, we cut up and got personal, basically she became my new best friend. Then I went home and went back to sleep. The place called Prime didn't happen. Not even mad after the day I had.

ATL Diaries: My First Pride...Part I

So I went out last night. I thought I’d be staying in for the 2nd night in a row this weekend when one of the biggest black gay pride events are going on in town but fortunately (and unfortunately) my cuzzo’s “fam” called me and asked if I wanted to hang out. ‘Course I said, “SUUUUUURRRREEEE!!!” They named me the designated driver. Mind you I’ve had like 4 Jack Daniel’s Country Cocktail Downhome Punch and Four Loko Lemonade. So basically I’d been drinking almost all day. And I still was going to drink at this party. Cooked, watched the UT v. Rice game, got my outfit together then realized around 8pm that I’d forgotten to get my uniforms from the cleaners that closed 3 hours earlier. The cleaners, to make matters worse, is directly across the street. I mean, literally, I can look out of my window right at the place. Even worse? They’re closed today…AND, thanks to the holiday, tomorrow. I fricking work tomorrow and Tuesday!!!

Oh, well, back to last night. Okay, so the “fam” arrives and we head out. Nice house in a nice neighborhood, I don’t even know if we were still in ATL. (We were) The party wasn’t much of an environment that I’m used to. We go get our drinks (I had four Coronas and 3 mixed drinks all night), they go off and mingle while I’m off to the side trying to take it all in. I tell you, the eyes that would not stop staring. It was like they were HUNGRY. Dudes did come up and speak and stuff. One thing I found out. The gheys love to hug. I’d rather shake hands and be done. As the night went on, I started to loosen up and danced a little bit. One of my people was pretty much wasted. I’m talking stumbling, slurring, can’t stop laughing, hungry ass wasted. Had to take him to the car for a minute, lol. But he was STILL pulling numbers. Got 3 of them in my phone since he left his in the car, smh. Back in the party, after all the drinks, I’m still sober. Him…smh. He kept having to check up on me but really, we had to check on him to make sure HE was alright. 

I "think" I saw Marquis Phifer at the party. Dope dude from LateBoots.com. He looked exactly like him but I couldn’t really be sure. He was a little more thicker, as in buff/meatier (did I say “meatier”?) than Marquis and he wasn’t dressed like only MP can dress. Didn’t seem like his type of environment. Does MP have any tatts on his arms?

Should’ve sneaked a pic….

Anyway, we left about 3:30 and got back to my place. Boy was falling out on my floor and in the parking garage…smh. Thankfully, he didn’t vomit at anytime. Now I gotta pick up my cuzzo from the airport in 3 and a half hours, sleep some more and go out again later today. This is becoming an interesting weekend. 

You and me baby, we're stuck like glue...

This stays on repeat. My new favorite song:


Artist: Sugarland
Song: Stuck Like Glue

My best friend asked me about interracial relationships...

…because she has a crush on this white guy she works with. 

My response: “Think about my dad and my stepmom. Then think about my little brother and sister. Not to mention that I, myself, am mixed and so is most of my family. What do YOU think I think about interracial dating?”

In the year 2010, why is there still a concern about interracial dating? Funny thing though…isn’t it always the black women who are up in arms when they see a black man with a woman of any other race? People need to step outside of skin color. Love knows no boundaries. 

Or at least getting some good sex doesn’t…

The day my life would change...

8.28.04

Austin, TX. 10:30AM.

University of Texas. Jester East dorm.

I had just woken up, stretched while still lying in bed. It was going to be a beautiful Saturday. I just knew it. It was 3 days before classes were to start. I was going to shower, go down for breakfast, call my family back home, talk to my grandmother, relax on 40 Acres Mall with some friends…just basically hang out.

While lying in bed, my phone rings. It was my cousin. He and his family lived just across the highway from campus. I answered, “Good morning”. He asked how I was, asked again making sure I was good. I told him I was fine and feeling good. 

Then he asked, “Are you sitting down?” I told him I was laying down. By this time, I was feeling so good that I hadn’t really caught on to where the conversation was going. There was a small pause, like he was trying to find the right words.

“She’s gone.” I knew what he meant. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t blink. I couldn’t breathe or move. I just froze, staring at the ceiling. My cousin kept calling my name, trying to get my attention and asking if I’m okay. Finally, I said, “I’m fine.” He’d made plans to pick me up and take me to the bus station so I could get home and be with my family. I hung up after that, laid there for a minute then sat up. I looked down at the phone. “My grandmother is gone,” I thought.

Before I knew it, the phone flies across the room into the wall. I was on the floor in tears, screaming. After a while I scrambled across the floor to the phone. Thank God it still worked. I needed to talk to my mother. I desperately NEEDED to talk to her. I couldn’t dial the numbers, kept getting frustrated. After 7 tries, the phone rings…voicemail. My words barely escaped as I couldn’t breathe because of how hard I cried. I needed my mom. So I tried her cell and I got her. She spent the next half hour trying to calm me down over the phone. Ha. I thought I was supposed to console her instead. Mom advised me to get my things together so my cousin can take me to the station to go home. She said everything will be okay. “We’ll be all right. She’s gone home now. She doesn’t have to suffer anymore.” After that, she said she loved me and I was later on the 3 hour trip back to Houston.

Six years later, it’s still not easy. The tears still come. The little things are constantly reminding me of her. From time to time, I hear her voice. I can still smell her scent and hear her laughter. I still expect her to pop up every holiday with a truckload of gifts and lots of food to cook. Man, I miss her cooking. She was the best. A song could be playing and the waterworks would start. I wish she was here to see me now. I know she’s proud of me. I know she sees all the changes in my life and everything that I’ve gone through. The good and the bad. 

I took a moment of silence today at 10:15AM. The time she took her last breath. I decided to write a letter to her. I’ll leave it on her resting place the next time I visit. I miss her so much. I love you, NaNa. See you soon.

ATL Diaries: Silent Alarms...

I haven't done this in a while.
On the love front, shit still the same. It's hard to let go but I'm trying. I never thought I'd go through that again but I did and was left with disappointment and heartbreak. Maybe I should just give up on it all.

The job is going good. Meeting lots of people from all over. I'm also learning to work the front desk. Speaking of front desk, remember the sexy gay co-worker I wrote about? The Bible-toting one with the attitude? Yeah, he's been a lot friendly and talkative lately. What's weird is he gave me a new Bible as a gift. Yeah, okay.

The other day I found the silent alarm by accident. It was a very, VERY slow day. I was bored and was playing with something that I didn't know was the silent alarm. I didn't even know that we had a silent alarm. I found out when the police showed up. Boy, was I embarrassed.

I haven't been going out, which sucks monkey balls. Seriously, I gotta make some friends out here. I'm gonna be alone for Labor Day weekend. Who wants to take me out?

Homosexuality, Race and Religion

As you all know, I have a tumblr and last night, things got a bit serious on the very sensitive subjects of homosexuality, religion and race. From what I gathered, someone didn’t understand how the GLTB community compares themselves to Blacks. From there, I’m not surprised it escalated into a religious debate by “Christians”. (Quotations are there for a reason.) Here’s my two cents:

I just wish people would use their brains to the fullest potential and realize that the GLBT community isn’t trying to compare themselves to the black race but the FIGHT and STRUGGLE for their CIVIL RIGHTS as our African-American ancestors have done for us. Please, do not confuse that with the fight against water hoses and police batons, segregated schools and neighborhoods, or burning crosses in their front lawn. However, they do endure the same type of discrimination: physical, sometimes violent or fatal, and verbal. While blacks had to fight against whites who brought them into slavery for some hundred years and left them deprived of their basic rights as American citizens for nearly another hundred, the gay community has to butt heads with the over-zealous religious community, homophobes and neo-nazi radicals. Guess what? The GLBT community are American citizens, too, and deserves to have their basic rights just as we did. To be honest, I do not understand, for the life of me, how ANY black person, after all the things that our ancestors had to go through to get us where we are today, can discriminate against any other group of people, whether its the GLBT community, whites, Asians, Mexicans, etc. In fact, the black struggle is far from over.

Some people believes that being gay is a choice. Some believes it is natural, while others may believe that it is a result of an unfortunate event that occurred to them as a child. I personally believe all three. I believe it could be a choice based on experimenting and saying “Oh this is better!” I believe a person can be born gay just as a person can be born straight (and if you do some research, you’ll find that this has been scientifically proven). And lastly, the result of an event that could be rape, incest, molestation or perhaps that’s the environment the individual has known and grew up around. An individual who is gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans-gendered doesn’t make them any less of a human being as anyone else nor does it make them any lesser in God’s eyes. 

“God does not like the ACT of gay.” I can see where you’re going with this, and many may have not used their comprehensive skills as I did; however, if there is no “act of homosexuality” then gays wouldn’t exist. They’re the only ones, and some straights who experiment, who commit acts of homosexuality so I can understand how many may take that statement as meaning God doesn’t like gay people. Who are WE to say what God likes or doesn’t like. I could say that He doesn’t like the white boy sitting next to me but in actuality, God may like him more than He likes me. A gay man who goes to church every Sunday probably has a better chance at entering the Kingdom of Heaven than the straightest man who only shows up for Easter. We know what the Bible says; it’s there in black and white text. The problem is the “Christians” who preach the Bible, not according to their own interpretations but what was taught and embedded into their brain as they grew up. Most don’t take the time to actually read and research for themselves, which they could discover so much as I did. I dare you to ask a Christian that claims to read and know the Good Book about the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. If the words “homosexuals” or “gays” come up, they didn’t read or research anything because the story makes no mention in any way. So why homosexuality is tied with the word “sodomy” and the story? “Christians”. Overly zealous religious groups that only chooses to single out certain things in the Bible that THEY don’t like. Some of them bearing tattoos, wearing mixed garments of fabric, has cut their hair or shaved their beard, eating pork and shellfish. Some of them have been divorced and remarried, committed adultery or incest, rape or murder. The Bible address all of these sins as the same but the “Christians” address homosexuality as worse. Then comes the “God hates…” or “God says this or that” arguments. This is when I believe they become ignorant and there is no point in continuing the argument because their so-called points become invalid. Did these “Christians” forget let he who is without sin case the first stone? We don’t get to judge who’s going to hell and who’s not. No one sin is greater than the other. God loves each individual as much as the next person. God is love, or did we forget that? The only judgment that matters is God. 

Did you know?: Homosexuality was widely accepted, mostly during ancient Roman and Greek times for long before the Biblical times, when the white men came along with their “Christian” views. The King James version was selected from many versions by the Catholics as the “official version”. The Bible was also used to justify the enslavement of Africans, discrimination and segregation, and war.