Friday, April 30, 2010

New Video: Xtina's not herself...

She's  A SLUTTY SEXXXY BITCH!!

Artist: Christina Aguilera
Song: Not Myself Tonight
Album: Bionic

YASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! *Puts on my yaki ponytail and does my slutty dance* LOL!! I already love this song. Now I love it even more. X-tina really turned it on in this video, looking like one sexxxy, slutty MILF. Sadly, she's getting flack for "copying" Lady Gaga, when X-tina had already done the same things Gaga is doing now. Don't get me wrong; I'm a Gaga fan but if it wasn't for X-tina, she wouldn't be here. I mean, did we forget the Stripped era? Anyway, this will definitely be the VOTW next week.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

In Stores Now: B.o.B.


Airplanes featuring Hayley Williams of Paramore is my SHITZ!!!

New Music Videos: Breezy, Tyga, B.o.B. & T.I

Artists: Chris Brown & Tyga
Song: G-Shit

I love Breezy but I'm not sure about the rapping. Why won't y'all let him be great?


Artists: B.o.B. featuring T.I. & Playboy Trey
Song: Bet I Bust
Album: The Adventures of Bobby Ray

Monday, April 26, 2010

New Video: M.I.A.


M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.

Artist: M.I.A.
Song: Born Free

I stared at my laptop in shock for like 10 minutes.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Movie Reviews: Babies and Funerals


Okay, here's the deal. I just saw two films that were recently released: Death at a Funeral and The Back-Up Plan. I must say that after seeing the trailers for the two aforementioned movies, I wasn't too keen about seeing them. They seemed very unworthy of my hard-earned unemployment checks. But since their releases, I've only heard so much about how "...Funeral" was so funny, hilarious, crazy. Their words, not mine. But it convinced me enough to see it anyway. As for The Back-Up Plan, the trailer only showed me that the mid-wife scene where the lady growls during birth was enough to persuade me to see it but just for that scene.

Death at a Funeral

This was a waste of time. Not one laugh. Not a one. No chuckles, no giggle. Horrible, over-the-top acting. Predictable. Stupid. Unfunny. I could go on and on. Some things look good on paper but this just wasn't delivered well at all. It reminded me of "Kingdom Come" starring Vivica Fox, LL Cool J and Cedric the Entertainer. That was one tragic idea that should have never come out of somebody's head. Ironically, Loretta Devine stars in that film as well as this one. It seems lately she's been attached to a lot of bad movies (including the upcoming "The Lottery Ticket"). Grade: *Is it possible to go any lower than an F?*

The Back-Up Plan

 Another J.Lo romantic comedy movie. I know what you're thinking. Fluffy, predictable, schmaltzy. I usually don't do these kinds of films. But as I said, the only scene I wanted to see was the midwife scene. Well, the trailer didn't do this film justice. I actually found it a good, decent film with plenty of laughs. Of course, it is indeed a bit predictable and J.Lo's acting is still kind of bad but you can get past that. At least she's better than "You've been a very bad girl, Gaga." Y'all know who that is. (Sorry Bouncy) This film certainly helped me to recover from Death. Grade: B

Friday, April 23, 2010

Monster

I'm out of breath, running in fear
Fighting for my life
But I couldn't seem to get away
No matter how hard I tried
Or where I'd try to hide
You always seemed to find me
You grabbed me, restrained me
Held me down, put pressure on my chest
Unable to breathe, unable to move
I couldn't find the strength
Couldn't push you away
Begging and screaming no more
Pleading for you to let me go
No one around to hear my cries
I gave in, surrendering to your power
You took my life, my innocence
Drained the light from my soul
Now I'm left alone in darkness
Every night the tears would fall
As each minute replay
Over and over again
Nightmares refusing to set me free
Like a horrible dream I will never wake
I can no longer live my life like this
Trying to hide the unbearable pain
Years of facades, masking the hurt
False pretense of happiness
It seemed as though it was my fault
Placed the blame upon myself
Feeling of embarrassment and shame
Frightened and paranoid
I cringe at the mention of your name
My worst nightmare comes true
There you stand before my eyes
Once again, back in my life
Anger...no, RAGE engulfs my flesh
My blood boils, my veins filled with hatred
Soon after, my emotions now replaced with fear
Such evil I've never seen before
Pour from your deadly grin and icy glare
So disgusting you are, a MONSTER
Cold and calculating and manipulative
Fragile and weak is what is left of me
Your presence keeps me prisoner
My mouth opens but no words escape
Inside I'm screaming but no sounds I could make
The closed wounds for years I've licked
Now opens again
This knife covered in blood falls from my hands
Falling to my knees, battered and bruised
Your venom seeps deeper into my veins
Your poison destroying ever inch of my existence
No fight left in me, just an empty soul
You broke me
You left me shattered to pieces
You...you killed me.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Friday, April 16, 2010

New Video: Snoop Dogg & Cudi


Artist: Snoop Dogg featuing KiD CuDi
Song: That Tree

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

New Music Videos


Artist: Maxwell
Song: Fistful of Tears
Album: BLACKsummer'snight

Love this song. I think it's time to move into the second part of this trilogy, blackSUMMER'Snight.


Artist: Toni Braxton
Song: Hands Tied
Album: Pulse *Available May 4th*


Artist: Toni Braxton
Song: Make My Heart
Album: Pulse *Available May 4th*

"Make My Heart" is a nice video, very different. However, I just cannot get into the song, no matter how much I try. Hell, I doubt I would like it even if Bouncy recorded it. I love, love, LOVE me some Toni Braxton but I’m just too disappointed in her and the direction of this project. Over 25 recorded songs leaked over the past year, and she and the label decided to pick 11 of those tracks for the album, half of them being the weakest including this one. They completely threw away the best songs Toni recorded this era. Even though "Make My Heart" impacts urban radio on April 20th (it has already been at radio since February), none of Toni's singles have taken off, including *great songs* "Hands Tied" the original and remix of "Yesterday" that features Trey SongzThings just can’t seem to go right for Toni but this time it’s her own fault. She’s trying too hard.

*Side note: I would have posted the new Snoop and Cudi video but it was removed.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sue, you better WERK that Vogue!!!

In case you been living under a damn BOULDER, the hottest new show ever this season comes from the network I despise and boycotted. Fox. That was...until GLEE came along. Yes, the show is THAT DAMN GOOD!! Stop being slow and TUNE THE FUCK IN!!! Like, what's the point of hating a show you've NEVER watched?

Anyway, the crazy ass hilarious coach of the Cheerios (the high school cheer squad) Sue Sylvester decided to take on Madonna. No, not literally. I mean, she remade her version of Madonna's classic "Vogue" music video. It also featured the characters Mercedes and Kurt, who was WERKIN' those poses!! Words cannot express how crazy funny this video is. CHECK IT OUT!!!



*I can't breathe!!*

Friday, April 9, 2010

Hilariously Ridiculous: Foolish Rude Boy Edition



*logs off, shuts down laptop & goes to church* Dear Lawd Jeezus...

I got married because being single sucks...


My sister asked this question on the dreaded ol’ Facebook: “Would you rather be single or married? Please explain.”

From the “married/boo’d up” side, I’ve read such answers that they prefer to be in a relationship. They’re reasons: avoid diseases and drama, being happy and it's joyful, enjoying the company, finally having someone to spend your life with. They believe that no one wants to be alone forever, spending lonely days and lonely nights without a significant other. One even stated that even if you get an STD, at least you know who gave it to you. o_O Huh???

And of course, they made being single seem like a bad, horrible thing that is boring. Now I respect other people's opinion and how they feel but half those answers were pretty...well, stupid.

The single side have stated mostly that, while they do hope to be in a relationship in the future, they are content or happy with being single at the moment and that happiness should not be defined by who you're with but it should come from within yourself. Before I posted my opinion on the subject matter the one answer that stuck out to me was this:
I personally think it's all about the point of preference. We may think that no one wants to be alone but that's not so entirely true.

Some people don't need to have or depend on having a significant other to be complete or content in life; they only need God. Think about it. If you have to depend on having someone in your life to love and love you back in order to be happy then you really should reevaluate things and redefine yourself as a Christian because God should come before any man or woman when it comes to happiness and contentment. You need to be secure within yourself; happiness should come from within YOU...not another person.

To be honest, in my opinion, marriage isn't really a necessity. These days, a marriage license just seems like a simple piece of paper, a contract. More than half of them fail anyway. True, no matter how long you and your spouse are together, you go through rough patches. Sometimes you're lucky enough to work through it but, most of the time, couples don't make it and they head to the courthouse. You never know what happens in the future. Yes - diseases, affairs, adultery, abuse, falling out of love - these things happen...single or married. You may think that in the single life there's drama but the truth is there's double that drama in married life. Why go through it over and over and over again? Remember what Madea aka Tyler Perry said in the play, "There's no reason for you to be unhappy in YOUR house. If whomever is making you unhappy cannot fix the problem then they gotta go." Half the people who are still married after many rough patches remain unhappy, to tell the truth. Most of the time you don't know because we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Then you have those that are like Angela from Why Did I Get Married? Yes, those types do exist in real life...male and female. They control, they accuse, they verbally abuse and in the end, they drive their lover/spouse away.

I don't really believe in "soulmates". I don't think that people are MEANT to be together forever. Majority of the time, the person you think or know you want to spend the rest of your life with, you almost always don't end up spending your life with them. If they're married for 40, 60, or whatever years, its because they were able to make it work and be happy.

Some people have been married numerous times for many reasons. However, after only 2 or 3 times, some vow to never marry again because marriage didn't work for them. Look at Halle Berry. Some just feel they don't need a piece of paper to commit to each other. I happen to know a couple who has been together for 13 years and raising 2 children, and they never made it "official", and they feel they don't need to because they know they are committed to each other and their family. But as I stated, you cannot predict what happens in the future.

At the moment, my personal preference is I'd rather be single than have all the extra drama to deal with. My focus is on working on myself and getting where I need to be. I don't have the time to worry about somebody else and whether they love me or if they're cheating, or anything else. If you've ever tried being single, you could really see yourself and where you are in life. You have a clearer vision on where you want to go without the distractions. I'm not sure how long any of you have ever been single but the kind of drama you're talking about, I don't see. I don't have. I don't deal with. If there is drama, it's usually from within family or friends, or associating yourself with the wrong type of people. You're focusing on the wrong things. In the future, who knows? Maybe I'll settle down. Maybe I'll get married and have a family. Then again, maybe not. Only God knows what the future holds for me.

Single life is not boring. If it's boring then, really, you're no fun. You have to know how to have fun. Go out with friends to bars, clubs, shopping, eating out, travel abroad, road trips & vacations, spa days...there's so much to do. Live your life. Find yourself. DEFINE who you are. Once you do get married and have kids, you wouldn't be able to do many things you've done or wanted to do while being single. Believe it or not, being single for the rest of their lives is what some people prefer. Maybe there is someone for everyone. Maybe not.

Marriage, or having someone in your life in general, doesn't guarantee happiness. Just something to think about.

What do YOU think?

Hilariously Ridiculous: Fool the Government Edition

Now ain't this some dumb shit?

Wanna go home with Trigga?

We all saw the official cover for the April 2010 issue of whack-ass Vibe Magazine, which now releases double covers for it's seasonal issues, this season featuring R&B hearthrob Trey Songz and hip-hop star Young Jeezy. Well, Vibe recently released some outtakes of Trigga's photoshoot, I'm guessing to get the ladies to shell out a few dollars. And the men too. ;)
Do you wanna go home with Trigga now?

Would you rock it:: Losvega 10.1

Will You Watch: VH1's Basketball Wives



My opinion: just another useless, unnecessary reality show about women who want some attention.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Married life is KUH-RAZEE!!!

See it!!!

Hate Tyler Perry and his work? NOBODY GIVES A DAMN!!! Go see the damn movie. It's THAT damn great! His best work ever. Tyler needs to do more movies like this. Madea is kinda genius but only as a play. It doesn't translate to film very well. I thought he wouldn't be able to top the original Why Did I Get Married? Boy, was I WRONG!

Y'all know I love me some Janet. She isn't really a good actress but this is easily Janet's BEST performance as an actress.

I'll tell you this: That damn Angela! That damn Pat!! That damn surprisingly shocking twist!!!

A+++++++++++

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Brake Happy...

If you live in Houston, you know, understand and feel exactly what I'm about to say.

THESE BITCHES IN THIS TOWN CAN'T DRIVE FOR SHIT!!!!!

Sure, there is a lot of road and highway construction going on in this city. In fact, I can't remember the last time that this city was completely construction free in the last 25 years (hol' on, lemme count the months and days) 5 months and 1 day that I've been alive and breathing.

But the damn construction isn't every-frickin'-where!

Morning and afternoon rush hour. That's normal. I get it. Traffic at odd hours and times of the day. Not really. But I get it. Usually, there's almost always an accident...right? WRONG!!

Half the time, there's NOTHING!! Just these no-driving ass idiots being fuckin' BRAKE HAPPY! And some of y'all already know I have a serious case of road rage. I just can't take this shit! It's not good for my blood pressure.

I need to move. Any suggestions?

Fool me once...

Yeah, yeah, Happy April Fool's. Blah Blah Blah.

Up until about 3 years ago, I practically used to be the king of April Fool jokes. I would get EVERYBODY but nobody could ever fool me. I was too good. But 3 years ago, I stopped because I dealt kind of a low blow.

You see, here's what happened: a cousin of mine and a close friend of mine at the time were together and they had a daughter together. On that April 1st, another relative and I were babysitting my little cousin while they were out for the day. So my kinfolk and I had an idea. I called my friend and told her that we were at the hospital, and to meet us there. All I said was the baby's name and she freaked the fuck OWT!!! (Misspelling intended)

I couldn't even say anything else. With all the voices in the background, I knew she had to be around a lot of people. She kept hanging up many times and asking what happened. I still couldn't say anything...SHE WOULDN'T LET ME!! So FINALLY, I calmed her down to explain that I was fooling her...and boy, did she cuss me the fuck out and called me shit I have never even heard of!! She wouldn't speak to me or leave me alone with the kid for like a whole week. Believe me, there was a lot of ass-kissing and sucking up I had to do.

Moral of the story, if you're babysitting somebody's child, don't mention the kid and hospital in the same sentence. I realized I was wrong on SOOOOOOO many levels.

In the end, she was still able to laugh it off because it turns out she was in the nail shop getting her toes done, and she ended up kicking the lady in the face.