Monster

I'm out of breath, running in fear
Fighting for my life
But I couldn't seem to get away
No matter how hard I tried
Or where I'd try to hide
You always seemed to find me
You grabbed me, restrained me
Held me down, put pressure on my chest
Unable to breathe, unable to move
I couldn't find the strength
Couldn't push you away
Begging and screaming no more
Pleading for you to let me go
No one around to hear my cries
I gave in, surrendering to your power
You took my life, my innocence
Drained the light from my soul
Now I'm left alone in darkness
Every night the tears would fall
As each minute replay
Over and over again
Nightmares refusing to set me free
Like a horrible dream I will never wake
I can no longer live my life like this
Trying to hide the unbearable pain
Years of facades, masking the hurt
False pretense of happiness
It seemed as though it was my fault
Placed the blame upon myself
Feeling of embarrassment and shame
Frightened and paranoid
I cringe at the mention of your name
My worst nightmare comes true
There you stand before my eyes
Once again, back in my life
Anger...no, RAGE engulfs my flesh
My blood boils, my veins filled with hatred
Soon after, my emotions now replaced with fear
Such evil I've never seen before
Pour from your deadly grin and icy glare
So disgusting you are, a MONSTER
Cold and calculating and manipulative
Fragile and weak is what is left of me
Your presence keeps me prisoner
My mouth opens but no words escape
Inside I'm screaming but no sounds I could make
The closed wounds for years I've licked
Now opens again
This knife covered in blood falls from my hands
Falling to my knees, battered and bruised
Your venom seeps deeper into my veins
Your poison destroying ever inch of my existence
No fight left in me, just an empty soul
You broke me
You left me shattered to pieces
You...you killed me.

Can't Have U

It's been almost 10 years, and recently, I was inspired to start writing poetry again. This is the first one after so long. It's called "Can't Have You". Check it out:


I’ve got this strange feeling
It’s come all over me
I can’t explain it
It travels all through my body
Butterflies in my stomach
Tingling in my spine
Everything begins to fade to black
Every time you come across my mind
Never thought this could be happening
My every thought is always you
My palms are clammy now
I don’t know what to do

It’s impossible
I cannot be falling for you
I’m in the Garden of Eden
And you’re the forbidden fruit
I’m fighting all the temptations
You’re off limits to me
I long and ache for your touch
You’re out of my reach
This long distance is killing me
Feels like we’re worlds apart
As I write these words
I hear the beat my fluttering heart


How do I describe it?
It’s complicated
I know that I can’t have you
My feelings I never anticipated
These emotions, it's crazy
What do I do?
Feels like I’m on a roller coaster
It’s got me all dazed and confused
I’ve come to realize I will never have you
No matter how hard I try to beg the angels above
As I learn to accept it, I begin to wonder
These feelings, could I be in love?

Dedicated to JoJo ;-). Thanks for the inspiration.