I got married because being single sucks...

My sister asked this question on the dreaded ol’ Facebook: “Would you rather be single or married? Please explain.”

From the “married/boo’d up” side, I’ve read such answers that they prefer to be in a relationship. They’re reasons: avoid diseases and drama, being happy and it's joyful, enjoying the company, finally having someone to spend your life with. They believe that no one wants to be alone forever, spending lonely days and lonely nights without a significant other. One even stated that even if you get an STD, at least you know who gave it to you. o_O Huh???

And of course, they made being single seem like a bad, horrible thing that is boring. Now I respect other people's opinion and how they feel but half those answers were pretty...well, stupid.

The single side have stated mostly that, while they do hope to be in a relationship in the future, they are content or happy with being single at the moment and that happiness should not be defined by who you're with but it should come from within yourself. Before I posted my opinion on the subject matter the one answer that stuck out to me was this:

 

I personally think it's all about the point of preference. We may think that no one wants to be alone but that's not so entirely true.

Some people don't need to have or depend on having a significant other to be complete or content in life; they only need God. Think about it. If you have to depend on having someone in your life to love and love you back in order to be happy then you really should reevaluate things and redefine yourself as a Christian because God should come before any man or woman when it comes to happiness and contentment. You need to be secure within yourself; happiness should come from within YOU...not another person.

To be honest, in my opinion, marriage isn't really a necessity. These days, a marriage license just seems like a simple piece of paper, a contract. More than half of them fail anyway. True, no matter how long you and your spouse are together, you go through rough patches. Sometimes you're lucky enough to work through it but, most of the time, couples don't make it and they head to the courthouse. You never know what happens in the future. Yes - diseases, affairs, adultery, abuse, falling out of love - these things happen...single or married. You may think that in the single life there's drama but the truth is there's double that drama in married life. Why go through it over and over and over again? Remember what Madea aka Tyler Perry said in the play, "There's no reason for you to be unhappy in YOUR house. If whomever is making you unhappy cannot fix the problem then they gotta go." Half the people who are still married after many rough patches remain unhappy, to tell the truth. Most of the time you don't know because we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Then you have those that are like Angela from Why Did I Get Married? Yes, those types do exist in real life...male and female. They control, they accuse, they verbally abuse and in the end, they drive their lover/spouse away.

I don't really believe in "soulmates". I don't think that people are MEANT to be together forever. Majority of the time, the person you think or know you want to spend the rest of your life with, you almost always don't end up spending your life with them. If they're married for 40, 60, or whatever years, its because they were able to make it work and be happy.

Some people have been married numerous times for many reasons. However, after only 2 or 3 times, some vow to never marry again because marriage didn't work for them. Look at Halle Berry. Some just feel they don't need a piece of paper to commit to each other. I happen to know a couple who has been together for 13 years and raising 2 children, and they never made it "official", and they feel they don't need to because they know they are committed to each other and their family. But as I stated, you cannot predict what happens in the future.

At the moment, my personal preference is I'd rather be single than have all the extra drama to deal with. My focus is on working on myself and getting where I need to be. I don't have the time to worry about somebody else and whether they love me or if they're cheating, or anything else. If you've ever tried being single, you could really see yourself and where you are in life. You have a clearer vision on where you want to go without the distractions. I'm not sure how long any of you have ever been single but the kind of drama you're talking about, I don't see. I don't have. I don't deal with. If there is drama, it's usually from within family or friends, or associating yourself with the wrong type of people. You're focusing on the wrong things. In the future, who knows? Maybe I'll settle down. Maybe I'll get married and have a family. Then again, maybe not. Only God knows what the future holds for me.

Single life is not boring. If it's boring then, really, you're no fun. You have to know how to have fun. Go out with friends to bars, clubs, shopping, eating out, travel abroad, road trips & vacations, spa days...there's so much to do. Live your life. Find yourself. DEFINE who you are. Once you do get married and have kids, you wouldn't be able to do many things you've done or wanted to do while being single. Believe it or not, being single for the rest of their lives is what some people prefer. Maybe there is someone for everyone. Maybe not.

Marriage, or having someone in your life in general, doesn't guarantee happiness. Just something to think about.

What do YOU think?