Madea's crazy ass...

Low budget? Obvious.

Horrible acting? Definitely.

Over the top? No doubt about it.

But that's always been the case with Tyler Perry films and Madea's Big Happy Family is no different. What is different, however, is this movie is packed with more humor than drama and religion, and is less focused on having to "send a message" like the previous films. That and the fact that Madea is more prominent throughout the movie too, unlike those same previous movies. Teyana Taylor is a standout as her character is a HOOT! That can be a good thing or a bad thing. You judge. Be prepared for your sides to hurt like hell. Obviously, people loved it since it took in over $25 million during it's opening weekend. Take that, Spike Lee!

Grade: B-

How I spent my Easter?

Oh, get your minds out of the gutter!

It was my first Easter without my family. I miss them a lot. Every time all of us get together, we have the best of times.

Basically, I stayed in and watched a few movies. No egg hunting, no candies...no church. **Forgive me, Lord** Didn't have anything else to do since my bff was out of town and my other bff moved to Philly 5 months ago.

Any other friends here? No. Sad, isn't it? Oh, well. C'est la vie.

I Am My Own Worst Enemy...

I'm always too hard on myself
I try not to be but each time, I fail
Too pessimistic is what they say
That's my view of life everyday

Standing here looking in the mirror
Searching for what others see
Liquid sorrows roll down my face
Ugly is what these eyes see, no beauty

Big lips, wide nose, gapped teeth
Thick, big-boned fat-ass
No six-pack but a keg
No way I'm turning any heads

A compliment here, a compliment there
Nod my head as I just stare
"You're beautiful, sexy and cute"
Somebody must be blind

This love life, or the lack thereof
Sending sweet, beautiful dark chocolates my way
Before I could claim just a small bite
Tall, dark and handsome just keep walking by

So many chances I had
All leading me to believe the games
Now I believe in nothing
Love was never in existence

Lonesomeness takes over
As I lay in this cold king bed
Reaching over into space
Only imagining someone there

Everything I feel is my fault
Nothing else is to blame
My insecurities will still be there
No matter how hard I try to change

Every little critique
Nitpicking every little flaw
Even with all the progress so far
I'm still holding myself back

Constantly fighting this never-ending battle
Anxiously wanting it all to be over
I refuse to go down losing
I'm claiming it, I'll come out with this victory

Maybe I'm over-thinking...

Sometimes I find myself questioning my friendship with others. I wonder if they really consider me as a friend or maybe they're just being nice but don't give a damn at all. When I call a person my friend, I mean that. I never use that term loosely.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm annoying to my friends. Maybe they don't want to be bothered with me. I start reading between the lines and get that feeling they may be saying to themselves, "Why is this nigga talking to me?" or "What this bitch want now?" I get the vibe that they don't really want to talk and that I should leave them alone.

I'm usually always the one that hits them up, the one that speaks first. Then that awkward moment happens until or when they respond. Then there's the awkward moment when it seems like I just don't fit in. Then there's the moment when I feel like I haven't been a good friend. Then there's the moment when I share something with a friend and I lose that friend.

I really don't like the feeling that everybody that I think of as a friend could possibly not think of me as the same. I love all of my friends, unconditionally. No matter what, I'll be there for them when they need me.

Why I always do this to myself, I don't know. Maybe I'm just reading too much into things that I'm just really reaching. I hope that's the case...

Scared of Being Lonely...

This keeps happening

It’s like a cycle

Keeps going round and round

Leading me back where I started

I meet someone

We’ll hang out a few times

Get to know him

I’ll like him…then start falling for him

But then comes the bomb

What I once thought just isn’t

Everything he says is just a flirt

Nothing was real

So I give up on ever finding love

Sometimes I don’t believe in it

My walls are put up

Until someone else comes my way

I get nervous

I get those feelings again

But this time I refuse

I refuse to fall again

This time I like him

But I’m only leaving it as that

Those walls I built I won’t take down

My pride, it’s protecting me

From hurt

From heartbreak

From tears

From this thing we call Love

Finally

This could be my chance

My heart is saying go for it

My mind says “Don’t even”

Sure, I’m scared of being lonely

Never to share this life with the man I could love

But the past keeps punching me in my face

What happens next is all I keep thinking of

What if this time’s a charm?

Maybe I should take the risk

No, I made it this far alone

I’ll go farther on my own

SCRE4M...Back to the basics

This movie was CRAZY!!

While I’ve heard a lot people talking about how good it was, some people were saying it was “just decent”. That, I don’t get. Like, were we watching the same movie? It was GOOD!!

Of course, I was kind of skeptical at first but with Kevin Williamson back as the writer, I just knew it would be hundreds of times better than Scream 3 (which Williamson didn’t write). This was almost on par as the first 2, which were also written by Williamson. What a way to bring back the last of the greatest slasher series in horror movie history, by taking it back to the basics.

It was great seeing Sydney Prescott, Gale Weathers and Deputy Dewey on-screen together again.

New decade, new rules…and a twist that will leave your jaw on the floor.

“Don’t fuck with the original.”

B+

So...first "date"?

I only think it was a date. Me and this guy was supposed to meet several times over the past few months but never got around to it. Last weekend, I unintentionally stayed at my bff’s place all weekend.

So last night we FINALLY went out. He was planning to take me to the gun range originally but that got scraped. Soooooooo, we opted for dinner at Moe’s in Atlantic Station. 

While we ate, we talked…and talked…and talked…

…and talked.

Basically, about everything. From where we’re from, our goals, what we love to do, school, politics, relationships (none of which I ever had), first times, coming out and how our family and friends accepted it (or in some cases not…his case, not mine)….basically, everything.

Then we walked around and talked some more. Making plans about where we should go together. He doesn’t like going to the movies for some reason lol. 

I had a really good time with him. He’s cute, has a good sense of humor…all that good stuff. 

This could possibly be my first date ever. Yes, you read that right. *In Nene voice* EVUH!

He paid for the dinner. So that makes it a date…right?

Scary Dreams

Lately, I've been having these dreams. Very vivid. It happens every night and sometimes when I daydream.

No,  I'm not talking about the sex dreams. That's BEEN over.

These dreams always start with me walking somewhere alone at night (or early morning when it's still dark), whether going home or leaving a party or whatever. And suddenly, I'm approached by a gang of dudes. They were like thugs...sometimes there's 4 of them, other times more.

What happens next disturbs me. "What's up, faggot?" one of them says. It was almost like I knew what would happen. They start to beat the shit out of me then leave me nearly lifeless in a pool of my own blood. Hours later, one of them would come back to make sure I was alive and get help. I end up in a coma for weeks, with the one that came back for me still by my side until I wake up with him being the first face I see.

Then that's it. The end of the dream.

It's been happening repeatedly. I can't help but wonder what could this mean. Usually, when I dream of something happening to me, it always happen to someone I know and close with. I hope this isn't the case.

I'm scared...

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