ATL Diaries: Massages and Mexican

Over the weekend, my bff and I decided to get massages because our backs have been killing us from our workout training. She already had the experience and it was my first time so I didn't really know what to expect. There was the robe, which I've never worn one a day in my life...and I had to strip to my undies. Kinda uncomfortable in the presence of women you don't know. Now a sexy man you don't know...

Getting back on point. The massage was GREAT!!! No more back pain. Less tense. An experience I will do again!

Then we went to try this Mexican restaurant called Chepe's. I was a bit skeptical at first because no other place can do real mexican food like Texas. But once I saw that menu, I knew I was about to get some real Mexican...in Georgia!! Maaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

Enchiladas Mexicanas!!! This bitch was so damn good. Look at it. Look at this shit!!! Dammit, it even just look good.

The Chepe's Margarita. This bitch. This HUGE ass summabitch! This is supposed to be a damn mug. Bitch, this is a muthafuckin' PITCHER! The photo can't even show y'all how big it is but just look at that straw. You see that big Coca-cola glass of water? Man, when I say I was feeling guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud....

Getting my sexy on...

Yeah, so I joined a gym thanks to my BFF. She needed somebody to work out with and I wanted somebody to motivate me. Time to make some changes and get the look I want.

Besides, one of my besties told me, "If you don't like something, change it."

So I'm trying to change this belly to a washboard, these man boobs to pecs...and I don't care if people said I have a phatty, it's still flat to me...I want a bubble butt, dammit!!

Meet "Jody".

He's there for practice when I finally get my (re-)1st time.

Don't judge me.

A little hope: valentine. (by @iPEPPAH)

Days have elapsed & you’re not here
Months have gone by & you’re miles away
It’s been almost a year &
I still remember your lips
Your smooth skin, your ability to make me shy

I remember when I held you
Your body was so soft
Your skin taste so sweet
I remember kissing your neck
While my hands were around you

Could he be mine one day? I asked myself
Time was against us but
I felt special that morning
Knowing you were right there with me
My world felt untroubled

Reminiscing on the time we had
I wish I could have talked to you more
I wish I could have guarded you longer
I wish I could have whispered more in your ear
I wish our meaningful dialogue would have never ended

I know I’m no longer in the running
I lost the race
I just knew you were too good to be true
So delightful, so enduring, so clever
The person you are, I will soon meet again

Someone like you will enter my universe &
When he comes, I will not forget you
But until he comes
You will remain my intangible valentine
This gave me a little bit of hope when it comes to love after reading. You guys should check out my bestie Peppah's blog for more writings. I swear sometimes it's like he's in my brain. He's very talented. Click for his blog ---> Free.Xonee

A Night at Luckie Lounge...

So last night, me and my bff went to Luckie Lounge for drinks to celebrate her “21st” birthday. Before we even got there, we were cutting up. The waiter asked for our drink orders: she got the Hurricane and I asked for anything with liquor and he brought me something called the “Owwwwt”…says it’ll knock you out. 

Bitch was strong as hell but I was still awake. Then I got a Hurricane but bff couldn’t even finish her one drink lol. For dinner and dessert I had something called the Shrimp and Grits, and Volcano chocolate cake.

I could’t resist taking a pic of bff’s banana bread pudding…or I think that’s what it was called.

For the rest of the night, it was the club scene at Luckie. We danced and acted a fool after a few beers.

We’re supposed to do it again tonight…but I’m still kinda recovering. No hangovers but too many drinks. SMH.

I Smile...

Today's a new day but there is no sunshine
Nothing but clouds and it's dark in my heart
And it feels like a cold night
Today's a new day, where are my blue skies?
Where is the love and the joy that you promised
You'd tell me it's alright
I almost gave up but a power that I can't explain
Fell from heaven like a shower...
So I smile, even when I hurt
See I smile, I know God is working
So I smile, even though I been her for a while
I smile...

I love coming across a song that can describe when I feeling down and it's lyrics can turn it into positivity and uplifting. I've been in that funk for a while and Kirk Franklin's "I Smile" brings me out of it. It's like we've had a conversation. Like he's been all up in my head.

Some things are better left unsaid...

Let's just say that phase couldn't be further from the truth.

You know that moment you have where you do something or say something, and you later regret it ever happening and wish you can take it back. I'm talking that you would give your LIFE to take that moment back. I had that moment a couple of weeks ago.

I dealt with a lot at that time, emotionally. By the way, I'm doing a lot better and taking it day to day. It's going to take some time to get over it completely. It helped to talk about what I was feeling with the person I felt for. Now I wish I could take back everything my big ass mouth revealed. But the damage has already been done.

We've drifted apart. I feel like, because I opened my mouth, I lost a cool good friend that barely speaks to me anymore. Or won't speak to me at all. I lost a cool good friend that won't hang out with me because he'll feel uncomfortable. I lost a cool good friend that probably thinks I'm crazy.

I don't know, maybe I am. And it's all my fault.

I shouldn't have caught feelings. I set myself up to fall. I should have just kept it all a secret. Obviously, I didn't learn the lesson from the first time. But this time, I got it. Will I try dating again? I don't know. Am I going to turn down anyone that tries to talk to me? Probably. Right now, I'm not the least bit optimistic about this dating and love thing. It's just not happening for me, and probably never will.

But if...and that's a BIG "if"...I were to end up in a situation where I have feelings for someone, you can believe that I'm keeping my mouth shut.

So I won't try to talk to or bother [him] anymore. I won't continue to try being friendly as if nothing happened. I want to apologize. I want to tell [him] I'm sorry for telling [him] my feelings. But I know he's not going to listen. I'm pretty sure the "friends" ship sunk faster than the Titanic. Yeah, it sucks but I'm to blame.

If I had to choose just ONE regret in my life, it would be that moment I told him how [him] how I felt about [him]. And now, the damage cannot be undone.