Battle of the Besties...

If you already know me then you already know I'm not the messy type.

Okay, I'm lying. I can be messier than Wendy Williams at a celebrity wig trading fair sponsored by Beef Jerky.

Anyway, my best friend (we'll call her "Erica") has 2 besties. There's me, and there's the one she's had before me. See, she and I met almost 3 years ago on a cruise trip with our cousins. Confused? I know. Breakdown: my cousins through their mom; her cousins through their dad. If you didn't get that then I pray for you.

Anywho, her crazy ass girl (we'll call her "Rae") and I instantly hit it off when we first met later on. However, she's actually more of a damn fool than I am. But lately, she has been vaguely putting "Erica's" business out public via Facebook. I'm talking about everything about her personal life from relationships, family and career. EVERYTHING. "Erica" doesn't ever say much about it but she does tell me she gets embarrassed by it and wishes "Rae" would stop. I try to convince her to speak up but she's scared and she didn't want me to say anything. Mind you, this is supposed to be her best friend since HIGH SCHOOL.

Well, I had enough. Earlier this week, "Erica" called "Rae" for some ideas on what she should cook. Moments later, we find that "Rae" posted a Facebook status: "Let me tell you about a friend who calls me and ask for advice on cooking but she never invites me over to eat. Is that a friend or a friend of convenience?" Now, I and all my cousins (those that are also "Erica's") are FB friends with "Rae" and saw it. All it takes is for one person to say "I'm cooking" and we all just show up. No invites or anything. We family. Y'all know how it is. So I decided to be funny by posting the following status: "Let me tell about a friend of a friend who calls out her best friend when she doesn't get an invite to eat whenever she cooks but she knows she can just show up like everyone else does."

Now, was I wrong? I mean, if you knew me then you'd know I have a very joking nature. Seriously, I'm funny without even intending to be funny. But me posting that status was a joke, which we all understood. Well, all except "Rae". It was all fun and games...until she said she wanted to FUCK ME UP!

OH HEEEEEEEEEELLLZ NAW!!!

Then she posted another status: "I see she got her roommate speaking for her. Baby, speak when you're spoken to. Thanks for the shout out. FYI, I'm never scared."

My status response: "Don't think you can just call people out on FB whenever you feel like it but then you want to fuck somebody else up for calling YOU out. I'm just calling it like I see it. Chill out with the childish shit and GROW UP!"

And then she commented: "Dude, let me tell you this. Before you speak, look in the mirror. You have been calling people out since day one. Don't think nobody really knows what you do on twitter. You talk bad about everybody in your fam so you may not want to go there. I call it like I see. Pick and choose your battles. Now, I'ma be a woman and bounce. Have a great life loser!"

Yep, I responded: "I know what the fuck I do. Don't fuck with me. You can call me out on my shit all you want; I don't give a fuck. I'll go wherever the fuck I want. Just know your ass isn't going to threaten me and think you'll get away with it. You tell YOURSELF to pick and choose battles before you try to get into some shit with me." (She quickly deleted me as a friend soon after)

Clearly, I would have written more but I was typing from my Blackberry and it was late. First of all, "Rae" doesn't follow me on twitter. Secondly, my tweets are protected so she doesn't know shit. Thirdly, my fam already knows everything I've tweeted about them because I said it to their face. I've never spoken ill about them. There may have been a couple of things I said here and there but never ill. If I ever said something behind their back, I got called on it and I accept full responsibility for it, whether I'm wrong or I'm right. Why the fuck get mad at anything? Everyone that knows me knows my attitude and what can happen if my buttons are pushed, and they know NOT to pull those triggers. "Rae" clearly has a lesson to learn. She better hope she doesn't cross my path from now on.

Funny thing, my fam who saw all of this, actually sided and agreed with me. And this whole time, poor "Erica" is stuck in the middle, and she tried to stop it all. Now, since we're roommates, she's stuck with a dilemma...

*Disclaimer: All names used are fictional to cover the true identity of all parties involved.