A few months ago, we found each other on Facebook (I know, I know) and reminisced about the past and the "good times" we had. We've been talking a lot since then. But lately, the past week, seemed a little different from our normal talks.
It all started with his comments on my photos from the photoshoot with Deonte K (See previous post). Now, he wants to get to know me...more than he already does. Mind, body & soul. But I had to tell him "friends first" then see what happens from there. Plus, he lives in Denver. I've never had a relationship before so long distance is something I don't know about. That's even scarier.
With my history in these situations, I'm not ready to let my brick walls come down again. I can't do it. He's a great guy and we have that history, and I realize the feelings I had then are still there but I'd rather save myself from getting my hopes up and getting heartbroken and disappointed. If it happens, so be it. All I know is right this moment, I got to protect myself and my feelings.
I gave up on trying to find and fall in love. I don't want it nor do I care for it anymore. Thanks to all the guys in my past that I could have had a relationship with, I've learned that what they tell you is just a game. Flirting is a game. How or what they feel about you...all lies.
So I thought maybe I'll play the game, too. Well, just not with him though.
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