Why when I always tell someone that I've never been in a relationship, on a date or that I've never been somebody's boyfriend...they respond with shock, surprise, disbelief?
"Omg, you've never had a relationship?" Uh, like, that's what I just said, you dumb ass. Did I miss a memo that I was supposed to be in one? And the assholes that tells me I'm too cute to have been single for so long. Yeah, tell that to the guys that don't even look my way or the guys that rejected me.
Then they ask in my opinion the stupidest question..."Why?"
That brings up old feelings. Pain, heartbreak, rejection...insecurities. I mean, who wants to talk about that, especially when they're trying to remain moved on from it? It's all why I'm still single. So at this point, I don't really give a damn about being somebody's boyfriend. I don't look forward to it either.
So the next time somebody acts all shocked, I'm punching them in the face.
1 comment:
I love this blog! There is soo many things I want to say to this. However I guess I will just talk about how I feel. I get those same reactions when I tell people I've never been in a relationship or had a lover before. Yes I've dated, but never had anyone to call my own. I pondered my brain soo much to find a reason why I didn't/don't have a lover. As I grow wiser, and more conscious about my life and why the experiences I experience come into my life, I realized one simple truth. That truth is that I was not allowing it to be. I fought soo hard to get a lover, and desire a relationship, but it wouldn't never come. Dude after dude, date after date and nothing. During those times, I realized that after each and every situation I become more upset or jaded by the whole thing and the way it went down. I started to push more against relationships and love, and being to speak things into my experience, that I didn't realize was manifesting because of how I felt and what I speaking! I had to stop blaming the men around me, and look internally, and when I did that, my friend is when I begin to have my clarity. I knew I wanted a lover or a dude, but I was soo caught up in the idea of being with a boo, but I never looked at the bigger picture. I became wounded, and as I become more wounded, I became more undesirable, and because I was undesirable I processed it and thought it was some thing about the world that had me stigmatized or that I wasn't sufficient or worthy of love. I blamed everything expect take responsibility for my own actions. I...was inadvertently creating a living reality of the very thing I didn't want, because I failed to realized that I had the power to create the life I wanted to live. Everything I felt and every word I spoke was the exact replica of experience I was experiencing. So in other words, as much as I wanted to be in a relationship, apart of me was sending out a disgusting vibe of, don't fuck with me, I'm hurt, I'm lonely, I'm scared, I don't trust, I'm emotional..and what begin to happen was that every man that came into my existence were attracted but those signals I was subconsciously sending out. Thus, the men who are needy, angry, jaded, and no good to me, but I was soo involved in my feeling to see that this is what I've asked for. So, when I recognized that I need to change the way I feel about men, and dating and expressing more of the positive and started feeling good about who I am and what I want, things begin to shift!!! I started attracting good dudes, I started to bring more people into my experience that were of the good qualities versus of the negative! So, in essence when I ask myself why am I single? I can confidently say, it's because I have gotten into alignment with how I feel and what I want. when What I want aligns with what I feel, then manifestations shows up...in whatever I'm feeling. Your boo or guy is waiting on you my dear friend, and once you tap into your greatness and your emotions and feelings come into alignment of who you truly are, you'll find him, and he'll be everything you asked and even dream for, because you by the power that's in your have brought him into your experience, because you have desired him! Try it....and I can't wait to see how things turn around for you.
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