Basically, it's bullshit.
You ever met someone and y'all start "talking" and getting to know each other? You find out that y'all like each other...a lot. You talk about the future, about marriage, about starting a family and how many kids you want. Your feelings grow into something more and you think, "Finally, this is it. This is my chance."
Then you hear those three damn words that dooms everything to hell. "We're just friends." Now, that someone barely talks to you, even when you just say "hi". It's too late. Your feelings are already stronger. You hold on to that last little bit of hope. A change. But it doesn't happen. Instead, you get that final nail in the coffin. You're left heartbroken and shitted on by this so-called "love".
It happened to me. Twice. In fact, the first time, I had already given my virginity then left feeling non-existent. That was almost 11 years ago, the very last time I ever...did it. This time, it never got to that. No, I just got placed into the friend zone. Then my calls and texts stopped being answered. Even my tweets got no response. I became...invisible.
I've been an emotional wreck lately. I think I did something. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not good enough. It doesn't matter now because I've lost. There's possibly someone else in their picture. How do I handle that? How can I just turn these feelings off? Where's the fucking easy button??? If only I can press "Rewind" to the point that I let him in...and not let him in. If only I knew I was going to get hurt again.
But now, it's not going to happen again. I used to want to experience my first love, my first relationship...the dreams I had. I give up.
1 comment:
Dude! I hope I can be your source of inspiration! Please what ever you do, don't give up on the love that's in your heart! First I will say this, it's not your fault dude! You have to value your time, your talents, your gifts and know their worth! Something that have worth is not easily given away so quickly. It's dear and it's precious! Look at yourself in the mirror and know that you're a young, attractive black man with worth(talents,time, love, gifts, heart). You decide what it's worth. But don't let these men make you feel like you did something wrong. He left because maybe you were too much like right. When you begin to understand the psychology of men, you'll understand that in most cases people are probably just as much scared, intimidated and flawed as anyone else. People can appear to be well put together, but when you search deep,you'll discover they aren't any better, in fact sometimes worst lol. I say that not to put anyone down, but realize that you are you, and if anyone can't see that or love that or want to be around, tell them BYE! Because they are not worth your time or your love or attention!! You have to view it as they don't deserve me!! (what is that me? all that you are, love it and know you are worth getting to know). Don't waste another minute on someone who's not worth your time, or respectful or your time! Nip in the bud so you can be open and ready for the one who is, and trust me he won't make you feel self-conscious or make you cry tears of hurt!
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