So I have self-esteem issues. I'm human.
I'm not slim, fit and toned, or built and muscular like the other guys.
I don't have the perfect lips or the sleepy bedroom eyes.
My nose is big, and I hate taking pictures because I never look good enough.
I'm short and I hate my smile.
I'm not perfect.
Yeah, yeah, "nobody's perfect, we all got flaws"...
Still, that doesn't make it any better.
The fact that I get stuck in the friend zone doesn't help.
That fucking friend zone.
Isn't that for the ugly friend?
You know, when the cute guy or girl you like doesn't like you back?
Yep, that means something is wrong with me.
Or I'm way out of my league.
Which, again, STILL doesn't make it any better.
He flirts with me, talks to me, gets to know me.
Then asks to send a pic...you know those kind of pics.
Or maybe a video...put it on Xtube.
I hesitate, what's he going to think?
Will he stop talking to me? Will he lie?
I can't do it.
I'm not like those guys...
Insecurities are a bitch.
But I can't help it.
I wish I was a 32 instead of 42.
I wish I had a washboard.
Can't even wear a muscle shirt.
I just want to look like the sexy dudes...
The ones that everybody always fall out for.
I want to go to the beaches and pools
To be able to swim and walk around with no shirt.
Is that too much to ask?
Hell, I'm tired of this jelly.
So I'm not cute, I'm not sexy.
People will say I am just to make me feel better.
Truth is, it doesn't but I always smile to hide.
Damn. Fuck you, Insecurity!
2 comments:
No one wants someone who is just with them for their looks. Perhaps the solution is to not pursue superficial men?
I sympathize with you a great deal, because like you I have those same feelings about myself. Insecurities are a moo. At the time when we are cool calm and relaxed, that voice kicks in to remind us of the negative attributes of ourselves, and then we become self-conscious. I feel you 100 percent on this blog and my only question is what is the remedy? what exactly is the root of this insecurity, cause it's certainly not found in someone else. The only remedy have to come from ourselves..and telling ourselves that we are not what really feel about ourselves. There are many ways we could help our insecurities and rid ourselves of the negative thoughts about ourselves. I would love to talk more about this. I do love your openness and rawness of the blog. Not many can actually admit there "flaws" and own up to them, many just hide them like they don't exist!
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