I notice everything...

And by everything, I literally mean everything. I notice when someone stops hitting me up like they used to. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they used to do. I notice when things change, and when it’s no longer the same. I notice every single little detail. I just don't say anything. 

This is completely relevant to my life. [No, I didn't come up with this; it's copy and paste. Deal with it.]

The sad thing is that sometimes, after you've gone your way and let them be, they will suddenly speak to you out of the blue. To them, it's like nothing's changed. Well, actually, you did. They'll call you "stranger", say you don't talk no more and ask why you're acting funny.

Mission Accomplished...

So I got my own place...finally.

Earlier this week, I finally made the move to accomplish a goal I set for myself earlier in the year. It took some time and research, especially since I needed a place on a MARTA route that could get me to work on time but I made it happen. Of course, there was a little adjustment to that plan that I was hoping to go for but obstacles hindered that, unfortunately.

It's my very first time having a place of my own, for myself by myself. And I am PROUD of myself.

It's really quiet though. TOO quiet.

Thank goodness I have a laptop and a USB wifi thingy for some "innanets".

I have no television or furniture though. May get the TV someday soon. Furniture's coming for free though, lol.

In the meantime, I'll just lay here in the middle of my living room floor on a pallet and come up with color schemes for each room...

Side note: I really wish I could have been able to go the roomie route with one of my best buddies...because it's just TOO quiet lol.

Road to 27...

Looking back on the last year of my life as I approach the 27th anniversary of my world debut (yes, I said world debut), I would like to acknowledge the growth and progress that I've made to get where I am now.

Yes, I know I talk too much about mu problems and growth and all that but I don't give a damn so you're just going to have to deal with it.

This time last year I had just come out to my extended family and friends, still struggling with how to live my life as an openly gay man, coming to terms with who I am and adjusting to life in a new city. Yeah, there were some huge changes. But the changes didn't stop there.

I've become more open and outgoing, so much that sometimes I don't even recognize myself. No longer am I this shy guy. I say the firs thing that come to mind, which I better chill out before that gets me into trouble. I've been working to become more independent. I'm living my life and loving the hell out of it. Like everyone I know, I continue to discover a new side of me. Half the time, it shocks the hell out of me.

This last year ha taught me so much about friends and the people I'm supposed to trust. Sometimes you really don't know people and what they can do, and before you know it, you'll end up on the receiving end of bullshit. It taught me a lesson. After re-evaluating some of the relationships in my life, I learned that keeping a smaller circle is best. Some people I had to let go. Some were easy, some weren't. There were a few who showed their true character that made it easy. I had to eliminate the unnecessary drama because there was no place for it in my life anymore. So my circle is small. All I need are my besties: my girls Kena and Nikki, and my crazy bestie bitches Randy, Marcus and Steven. I love them all. The greatest group of best friends I could ever ask for. I honestly really don't want to know what would happen if we were all in the same room together. o_O

I also learned a lot about love. It's all a game. It's bullshit. I pretty much don't believe in it anymore. I mean, for other people, I do but for myself? I don't believe in it. After dealing with all the guys I've come across and the way they treated me, lied or whatever, I'm just done. My walls are back up and staying there. No more believing what any guy says to me. If there ever is a guy that actually means what he says comes my way, he's going to have a hard time trying to get through to me. Good luck with that.

Oh, and 2 of the best additions in my life ----> Jody and Dylan (search the blog lol). Hey, I'm exploring. Well...that and actually getting some.

Every day that you live is a lesson. C'est la vie, che.