Here I Am

I'm standing here, right now
Tall, strong...before your eyes
A fighter, a survivor...surprised?
I bet you are

I'm not supposed to be here
Alive, breathing...
But I'm standing here, right now
Should've been gone a long time ago
I should have taken the easy way out
But I'm standing here, right now

You told me I wouldn't make it
Told me I was weak, a punk
But I'm standing here, right now
You said the world was too big for me
It wouldn't be long before I get crushed
But I'm still standing here, right now

You said I was worthless
That no one would give a damn
I wasn't important
And I guess I'm dumb as hell, too

I would never amount to anything
I didn't have any potential
You had no faith in me
Always so quick to put me down
But I'm standing here, right now

You were a phony friend
That slithering snake hissing in the grass
Backstabbing, conniving
Sure talked a lot of shit

Maybe I was a little weak
And I believed it all, silly me
I was bullied and beaten
Stoned, burned and taken advantage of

It's time I rise to the surface
I'm done drowning
I been through too damn much
Even have to fight myself to win

I'm standing here, right now
My head looking toward the clear blue cloudless sky
I throw my fists up in victory
You heard me....I made it
Here I am

Interracial? Me? Hmm...

Funny, I just thought about this.

Me, dating outside my race. A sexy white dude. Maybe Italian or Latino. Never Asian though. Like, I thought about how I've only liked black guys and the only ones I've talked to in hopes of finally getting my first boyfriend or relationship with but it never happened. After being rejected, disappointed, heartbroken and all that other blahzay blahzay...I just gave up on it all. Until just a moment ago.

For a split second, I thought that maybe I need to try talking to guys outside my own race. Maybe it would be better. Maybe one of those guys would actually LIKE me or make the effort to try to be with me instead of spitting bullshit game and leading me on. I love my bruthas but the way they act has completely turned me off trying this dating shit.

I know, I know. They're not ALL the same. But it's just there haven't been ONE brutha I've met that actually wanted to make more than just 'something' happen. By 'something', I mean sex. It seems that's all they want. And that comes with prerequisites: you have to be a certain shade, size, height, build, length and girth, and packing in the trunk. Compared to the ones I see around, I can't even compete at all.

Yeah, I've broken out of my shell and became more open and outgoing but I've already given up on wasting my time with dudes. Yes, ALL dudes. I love my bruthas too much to ditch them for another race.

Maybe I should just get some cats...