Beautiful Sunrise

Shuffles from behind

A little stir in the sheets

Your arm embrace me

 

Tingles all over

As your skin contacts with mine

A high, this moment

Soft as cotton balls

Your lips exploring the nape

My sweet spot, my neck

I turn to face you

Gaze into your hazel eyes

Piercing through my soul

Je t'adore, you say

Je veux être avec toi

My soul fills with warmth

A kiss of passion

Your hands caressing my face

As we become one

As a light shines through

You embrace me as we watch

Beautiful sunrise.

Whitney Elizabeth Houston

I wasn't ready to do this post.

But after today, the truth finally set in.

Whitney is gone.

She is now in her eternal home.

Words cannot express how I feel right now,

so I won't try.

The tears have been shed.

In a way, I've lost a friend.

I will always look to you for strength,

for courage,

for love,

for faith and believing.

I will always love you, Whitney...

I miss you.

Lame.

I know I’m not popular.

I’m not as outgoing or out there. 

Maybe I’m not even THAT funny.

But I thought I was cool people.

Easy going, fun to be around.

But…someone called me “lame”. 

Never have I ever been called such thing.

I thought I was far from it.

They weren’t joking either.

I spent the past 2 years building my confidence…

Becoming the person I am today…

…now, it’s cracked.

Posed the question to a friend - a bestie - “Am I lame?”

That was 14 hours ago…no response.

Now I wonder how everyone feels…

Especially now when it seems my "friends" have been distant lately...

I don't know what love is...

I don't know what love feels like.

I love my family and friends; I just never had THAT love.
I don't know it.

You know, THAT love you see people gush and blush about.
THAT love where you can't talk about him or her without trying to hide your smile.
Supposedly THAT love when you start to miss him or her yet it hadn't been 24 hours since you last saw them.

The one that makes your pulse race and your heart skip beats.
That sends a chill down your spin the moment your skin contacts.

All of that sappy stuff. I shudder even to think about it.

I doubt if I ever get the chance to experience it.

Frankly, I pretty much don't care to know what love is.

2012 - Bring It On...

I've made some adjustments in 2011. Accomplished some goals. Left behind some more drama and unnecessary people.

Now I'm looking forward to 2012. I'm looking forward to conquer more goals. I want to travel more. On my list so far is the Bahamas, DC and NY. If I can, I'll squeeze in N.O. and another trip to Miami. I still need to head to the west coast since I still haven't been that way yet but I'll save that for later. I have to get my bestie over her fear of flying.

Now that I have my apartment, I'm looking forward to some wheels. Marta takes up a lot of time in transit between work and home. That's why I hardly go anywhere else. In this city, you NEED a frickin' car.

I've caught up on my student loans and got myself out of default. Next step, school. Since I just moved, it ain't happening in January. But I'll be damned if summer comes and goes before I get into somebody's class. I got a degree to finish working for and a stage to cross, and I'm not stopping until that happens.

I know I said I gave up on love but there seems to be this little small teeny tiny part of me that keeps holding on to it. I need to get "love" out of my system completely. I don't see love in my future at all. Mostly, because I refuse to open myself up to the possibility ever again. I'm perfectly content with myself.

And I'm going to make working out an everyday priority. Well...almost every day. I've been slowly slimming down a bit so it's time to get started again. Need to tone up and get rid of some man boobs and love handles. Oh and I have to work on the ass a little more. I don't have a damn half a cake back there at the moment.

I may get a second job. Or maybe find one that pays more my worth and skill. I do love the hotel business though. Especially at a hotel in the middle of Midtown Atlanta.

And lastly, I might try this grindr thing out again and open myself to meeting people. Not for hook up reasons either. It seems that's all the gays are looking for these days.

The Best of 2011

Albums:

1. Adele - 21
2. Beyonce - 4
3. Jay-Z & Kanye West - Watch The Throne
4. Jill Scott - Light of the Sun
5. Chris Brown - F.A.M.E.
6. Marsha Ambrosius - Late Nights...Early Mornings
7. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger
8. Big Sean - Finally Famous
9. Robin Thicke - Love After War
10. Kelly Rowland - Here I Am

Songs....well, there are too many so:

1. Adele - Someone Like You
2. Kelly Rowland - Motivation
3. Miguel - Quickie
4. Rihanna - We Found Love
5. Beyonce - 1+1
6. Chris Brown - Beautiful People
7. Jay-Z & Kanye West - Niggas In Paris
8. Kirk Franklin - I Smile
9. Jill Scott - Hear My Call
10. Adele - Rolling In The Deep
11. Beyonce featuring Andre 3000 - Party
12. Lady Gaga - The Edge of Glory
13. Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera - Moves Like Jagger
14. Miguel - Sure Thing
15. Marsha Ambrosius - Far Away
16. Jay-Z & Kanye West - Otis featuring Otis Redding
17. Beyonce - End Of Time
18. Katy Perry - Firework
19. Chris Brown featuring Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne - Look At Me Now
20. Mary J. Blige - Living Proof

Movies:

1. The Help
2. X-Men: First Class
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
4. Bridesmaids
5. Fast Five
6. The Rise of the Planet of the Apes
7. Columbiana
8. Kung Fu Panda 2
9. Puss In Boots
10. Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1

Disclaimer: This is my opinion. Deal with it.

Alone at Christmastime

This is my first Christmas alone. Ever.

Moving into my new place this week is the reason I'm not going home this year. Moving makes you broke.

My mom, sister and niece would have come but they're not able to make it, unfortunately. And my bestie here doesn't celebrate for religious reasons. Plus we both don't have funds to go out lol.

But oh well. All I'll be doing is sleeping, eating pizza, calling the fam and watching movies on my laptop.

There's no Christmas spirit around me at all.

The bright side...NO SNOW!!

So Merry Christmas and all that shit to y'all.